How to Tone Your Arms Like a Lazy Slob/Snob

I was digging in my closet recently and found a beach bag of 150 thongs from 2007. Literally. Making it rain day-glo lace over here. I also found my first designer handbag ever (Louis Vuitton Speedy 30), which I bought in 2006 mid-boom when logos were all that mattered. I think I wore these with big Gucci shades. Baller.


Why take a bag to the gym to lift when you can just lift a metric ton of junk in your bag?

I started bringing it on work trips because it is the only bag I have that holds a backpack’s worth of garbage and receipts, but still closes/looks pulled-together. After a week in Atlantic City or wherever I noticed omg? my arms looked decidedly less flabby. Like, almost as good as when I went to barre 3x weekly. And I was standing up straighter? My stomach flab was gone? My armpit fat was MUCH smaller?

Yep, here is your easy arm toning solushe, ideal for those of us who like to just make life changes and hate actually making an effort to make an effort.

How to Tone Your Arms Like a Lazy Slob/Snob

Step One: Locate your most 2007 handbag. I guess you could choose a current purse, but I like an excuse to wield around my Kim Zolciak-chic logo-emblazoned LV. No shoulder strap allowed.

Step Two: Load it down with an iPad, extra pair of shoes, fat wallet, work and home phones, water bottle, stack of business cards, Minimergency kit, pens…whatever else you think. You should almost feel like the handles will snap off, but the handles shouldn’t snap off.

Step Three: Carry it somewhere in the crook of your left arm. It won’t be comfortable, because it is essentially a medicine ball. When you get to your destination and/or the day is half over, switch arms.

Step Four: Uh…actually notice more defined arms. And abs?

You’re welcome.

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