One $10 waxing in a strip mall nail salon is too many.
Know how I know this isn’t a sorority girl? Facial Piercing.
six or seven a few years ago, when I was in a sorority, I had a minor sorority problem. So I brought home a mustache trimmer from Walgreens, along with my usual stack of US Magazines, troughs of self-tanner and bronzer and oh jesus, what else did I buy in college? Craft projects, Laffy Taffy and Diet Mountain Dew Code Red, I guess? Definitely not school supplies.
At first people seemed kind of horrified that I was legit out of the “girls have mustaches” closet. But as curiosity got the best of everyone they gathered round, like reluctant fairgoers around a bearded lady, as I shaved off my peach fuzz in .5 seconds. Pretty soon my mustache trimmer was making the rounds, cutting peach fuzz off tons of sorority faces.
OK, before I tell you what it is,
I need a higher word count let’s talk about the alternatives. I guess most people wax, right? What else is there? Nair? Razors? I don’t even know what other people do. Before I got this thing, I don’t even know what I did. I honestly can’t remember. Maybe I had Sally Hansen wax strips at one point, I’m not sure. I think I got it waxed in a salon once or twice. One other terrifying time I used a Daisy on my face.
Anyway, I always thought these trimmer things were for Kardashian-like people or old ladies who have that dark peach fuzz like on their cheeks and monster Frida-brows. But they can solve #whitegirlproblems, too.
OK, so here it is:
The Conair LT3WB Dual Blade Fine Line Trimmer. You’ve probably seen on TV or hanging on those plastic strips on drug store aisles depressingly. Ignore the bad Amazon reviews, I use it and love it.
It is the size of a pen- you can keep it with your makeup brushes in a cup or something, and it vibrates really quickly back and forth and trims off your fuzz really close to the skin so your lip is perfectly smooth. There’s no redness or creepy bumps or razor burn or anything and it doesn’t hurt at all. You basically stick one battery in it and you are set to be mustache-less for years because it takes less than 5 seconds each time. I’ve un-sanitarily used the same one for 6+ years and never changed the battery. And it is $7.
So I’m basically paying $1/year for a hairless lip.
How do you keep your face hairless?
P.S.: These exist.