Archive of ‘Media’ category

Can Someone Defend Me From the Trolls, Please?

Oh, hey guys. Who trolls the internet? So, a few weeks ago I starred in (nobody was available but my short-haired intern) and edited a little tutorial video for a Chicago salon on how to achieve perfect Brigitte Bardot hair via blowdryer tricks. I love BB and the salon and stylist who did the blowout […] Read more…

Shit Girls Say Video: I Just Died

I just died at my desk. I’m hungover and maybe even a little bit drunk still, but I think it’s this video that almost just killed me. I’ve been crying at my desk for like 45 minutes. I don’t normally care about YouTube videos, ESPECIALLY videos that involve a man in drag being stupid, like […] Read more…

Modern Family Is Not Funny. There Go My Readers!

The truth hurts.  Comedy is subjective, I know. And I’m obviously in the overwhelming minority on this one, which happens to me from time to time (see cupcakes, Tiramisu and Anne Hathaway). You all look…way too familiar. OK, so I’ve been trying to watch this wildly-overrated Emmy-winning show Modern Family for a long time, and […] Read more…

Japenese Gadget Story on XOJane!

They like me, they really like me! Sorry I’ve been MIA this week- I’ve been writing like cray for Private Islands Mag and XOJane! XOJane has published another one of my stories- this time it’s about magical Japanese gadget accessories. Please read, comment and enjoy! Japanese Gadget Engineers Think In A Fourth Dimension Read more…

Claire on XOJane.com!

My XOJane stalking finally paid off. I’m totally obsessed with this site, you guys. I read it constantly. It’s consistently hilarious, not anything like that filler, recycled, boringass SEO-farming crap we’ve all grown accustomed to. When they tweeted that they were looking for a tech contributor, I e-mailed them my tech samples in 2 seconds […] Read more…

Did the Excedrin Commercial Starring Elizabeth Moss Scar You?

I meant to write “Did the Excedrin Commercial Starring Elizabeth Moss Scare You” but “scar” is probably more fitting. I can’t even look at it. What emotion are these scary eyes supposed to be conveying? What do you think the script said? Can somebody, just, talk to me about this? It’s haunting my days and […] Read more…

I Need Help Understanding This Catheter Commercial

Somebody explain, please. Poor Julie. I’ve been unemployed recently (don’t feel sorry for me, I left my last job and wasn’t even trying to find a new one), and have been watching a LOT of daytime TV. I knew there was a problem (and I needed to find a job) when I realized I could […] Read more…

Live Blogging The Shit Out Of Miss Universe 2011

Shouldn’t it be called Miss Earth? Who do we think we are? Tonight is the most shallow night in television. Because I’m lazy and don’t feel like writing a comprehensible article tonight, I’m going to live blog the shit out of the Miss Universe Pageant. Opening BS I wasn’t paying attention to the time yet I […] Read more…

How to Get the Casey Anthony Look

Poor Casey Anthony. She’s heartbroken! If you don’t know Casey Anthony, where have you been? This century’s little Roxie Hart has charmed the nation, and justice was served on July 5, 2011 when it was revealed that America’s Sweetheart was innocent as suspected. Surprisingly, the actual murder trial took a backseat to the media’s obsession […] Read more…

How to Become Kimberly Kardashian

Your dreams will come true if you follow this step-by-step guide. This could be you! Love them or hate them, it’s hard not to want to be an over-the-top, self-indulgent, “largely vulgar” Kardashian. They’ve become well-known for sitting around on their asses and they somehow have a reputation for being uber attractive when they are […] Read more…

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