Stuffing your face lately? Just throw this on the pile.
You might argue that pretzel bites are something you eat while power-shopping, frantic and about to pass out. Well, to that I would say: you’re right. They’re typically an emergency mall kiosk impulse buy. But did you know: they’re also actually not THAT bad for you, because they’re hollow white bread carbs dipped in butter and sprinkled with salt. Oh, wait.
But will you look at this madcap kitchen kookiness?
The glisten-ey sheen is courtesy of a hefty coating of organic soy-based Omega-3 flaxseed spray. OMG, JK, it’s butter.
I know, I know. I sometimes have freakouts and
bake rustle-up crazy methlab cakes and other kitchen shenanigans. But my mother is actually behind this one. Apparently, these are semi-replicas of Auntie Anne’s slash Wetzel’s pretzel bites. And they meet my one requirement: less than five ingreds.
And in all honesty, aside from the (fully-controllable) butter step, they aren’t THAT bad for you. If you have ever eaten at a Macaroni Grill, you can handle these.
- One roll of Pillsbury refrigerated French Bread dough
- 4 T. unsalted melted butter (or olive oil or I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter or Smart Balance or whatever vegan option you like, Lauren)
- Kosher Salt sprinklings
- Optional Dippers: mustard, marinara, cinnamon sugar, frosting, truffle oil, cheese, chocolate sauce, whatevskies. This is America, it’s your decision exactly how obese you want these things to make you.
Set your oveskies to 375, start simmering a pot of H20 on the stoveskies.
Step One: Slice the loaf of bread dough length-wise, then in bite-size chunks the other way, so you have a grip of dough balls. Every great recipe should begin with dough balls.
Step Two: After you’ve smashed them into balls (pay attention carb face, this is the KEY step) drop in simmering water until they puff up ever-so-slightly. Leave them in the water for only about 10 secs, otherwise you get soggy bread slices. Skip this step and you have mini bread balls. The water makes them chewy and pretzel-ey.
Step Three: Drop on a Silpat or lightly oiled baking sheet and shove your wet little soldiers in the oven for about 15-20 mins. You want them to be slightly golden. I actually think they’re better when they aren’t fully developed- they’re softer and more pretzel-like. That sounded gross.
The below pic looks more delicious but is actually less delicious than the whiter second batch we made (which we took out after 14-15 mins).
Step Four: Dip, plunge, spray, roll, douse, envelop, engulf, encircle, encompass, surround, cocoon, Thesaurus, cloak, shroud, swathe, veil, circumscribe in melted butter.
Step Five: Dump in a bowl and sprinkle with Kosher salt. These things taste even better than they look, and that’s saying a lot since I got a new DSLR for Christmas and became an overnight food photographer sensation.
You’ll Rosie O’Donnell your way through a bowl in 10 seconds, fat.
Peace, Love and Carbs, (and thanks, mom!)