Benefit False Eyelashes Turned Me Into a Stepford Wife (Again)

Cosmetic Pop Quiz!

1.) Why do brides look the best they’ve ever looked on their wedding days?

2.) Why do celebrities always seem so superhuman?

3.) What is the one thing that always makes me look pretty, even if I have nothing else on my face?

4.) What the hell is Kim Kardashian doing?!

If you didn’t answer “fake lashes” to all four of those questions, you are a total loser, you know nothing about anything that is important and you’ve now been banned from Perk Daily. (Not like you’d care, I post once a month now. I know, I’m sorry. I’ve been freelancing a lot. For cashola. Sue me.)

So I’m easing back in slowly with a beauty post or two, because I can write about makeup like I can write a shopping list. EASY and fast. And today, I picked up some GOODIES! at Ulta I HAD. to share.

So I have been planning to be Ke$ha for Halloween, especially after watching this video for inspiration. I was kind of on the lookout for feather extensions, kind of on the lookout for blue lipstick. I didn’t know what I was looking for. But I DO know, whenever I dress up as anything I slap on fake lashes. Why the hell shouldn’t I? I think we all need to make a pact and spread it around on Twitter that the days of fake hairpieces and fake eyelashes and fake nails are upon us again. We should call it the the second coming of Dreamgirls (The tag will be #DreamgirlsSecondComing, for those of you who are with me).

Just look at this, I have pretty much just bronzer and lashes on. Don’t my eyes look sick? Like, mentally insane? Do you hate me and want this post to be over? I understand, but I still have like 10 photos to get through. Bear with me, I haven’t even told you about why my new secret weapon works so well.

Isn’t this totally Stepford wifey? Once I was a Stepford Wife for some costume party and kept making this face. I may have actually been the scariest person there! 

OK, on to the actual product!

This is Benefit’s new line of lashes called Lash Lovelies False Eyelashes. They come in all different kinds of strips, little halvsies and individual lashes. Natch, I went for the fattiest monster strips they had (called Pinup). And you.would.die. They look so natural! You’d seriously think I ripped them off the face of an innocent child and Cruella Deville-ed them onto my own eyes. They’re soft and dark brown (not too fakey) and lightweight and silky.

Also, to be noted:

 The effing packaging looks like somebody knew exactly what they were doing to set off  Claire’s Buy It Now reflexes.

What’s key, though, is the affiliated glue. Don’t cast it aside in favor of your normal, globby white stuff.

 Even the stupid eyelash glue tube font is cute.

This stuff is completely thin and clear, like water. You can barely see it when it comes out off the tube, and you definitely don’t see it on the lashes. It adheres, but not devilishly/rubberily like the white kind, so you can gently peel off your lashes and they never get mangled. SO you can rewear that shit over and over, without the lashes getting all gummy and sick.

 See? These are covered in glue. You can kind of see it at the bottom corner. 

Kay, check out my before stumps:

Not bad.

But definitely not…

 Smoldering and sexy. hahaahahahaha. Like my (boxed) Merlot lipstick?

Stepford is back!

So, what do you think? They are $15 for the lashes and $8 for the glue, but you get multiple wears, so suck it. Also, if you’re really in the “money is no object for fake eyes” camp, check out the Dior adhesive eyeliner strips I reviewed here.


3 Comments on Benefit False Eyelashes Turned Me Into a Stepford Wife (Again)

  1. Dena Iadanza
    October 27, 2011 at 1:54 PM (7 years ago)

    On my wedding day I literally said to the girl doing my makeup “I want to look like a dragqueen” and made her put two, yes TWO, sets of lashes on. And then I proceeded to demand that everyone in my bridal party work falsies as well, all reluctantly agreed and when the photos came back were quite happy with the results. I, however, am the MAC queen, they have some amazing falsies, but I could give these a try. The glue, however, will be in my possession by the end of the day.

    • Claire
      October 27, 2011 at 2:00 PM (7 years ago)

      Dena, I love you even more than I already did because of this. Drag queen makeup ALWAYS looks better than normal makeup, which is why creepy Kim Kardashian photographs so well. 🙂

      • Dena Iadanza
        October 31, 2011 at 9:54 AM (7 years ago)

        It really is the ONLY way to go for big events. Especially when you are a photo whore like me and want to make sure you look exceptionally amazing in every photo taken – which, by the way, I DID (except of course for a few choice angles where I had a triple chin… WTF you would think the photographer would have told me not to bend my head that way…)


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