Cosmetic Pop Quiz!
1.) Why do brides look the best they’ve ever looked on their wedding days?
2.) Why do celebrities always seem so superhuman?
3.) What is the one thing that always makes me look pretty, even if I have nothing else on my face?
4.) What the hell is Kim Kardashian doing?!
If you didn’t answer “fake lashes” to all four of those questions, you are a total loser, you know nothing about anything that is important and you’ve now been banned from Perk Daily. (Not like you’d care, I post once a month now. I know, I’m sorry. I’ve been freelancing a lot. For cashola. Sue me.)
So I’m easing back in slowly with a beauty post or two, because I can write about makeup like I can write a shopping list. EASY and fast. And today, I picked up some GOODIES! at Ulta I HAD. to share.
So I have been planning to be Ke$ha for Halloween, especially after watching this video for inspiration. I was kind of on the lookout for feather extensions, kind of on the lookout for blue lipstick. I didn’t know what I was looking for. But I DO know, whenever I dress up as anything I slap on fake lashes. Why the hell shouldn’t I? I think we all need to make a pact and spread it around on Twitter that the days of fake hairpieces and fake eyelashes and fake nails are upon us again. We should call it the the second coming of Dreamgirls (The tag will be #DreamgirlsSecondComing, for those of you who are with me).
Just look at this, I have pretty much just bronzer and lashes on. Don’t my eyes look sick? Like, mentally insane? Do you hate me and want this post to be over? I understand, but I still have like 10 photos to get through. Bear with me, I haven’t even told you about why my new secret weapon works so well.
Isn’t this totally Stepford wifey? Once I was a Stepford Wife for some costume party and kept making this face. I may have actually been the scariest person there!
OK, on to the actual product!
This is Benefit’s new line of lashes called Lash Lovelies False Eyelashes. They come in all different kinds of strips, little halvsies and individual lashes. Natch, I went for the fattiest monster strips they had (called Pinup). And you.would.die. They look so natural! You’d seriously think I ripped them off the face of an innocent child and Cruella Deville-ed them onto my own eyes. They’re soft and dark brown (not too fakey) and lightweight and silky.
Also, to be noted:
The effing packaging looks like somebody knew exactly what they were doing to set off Claire’s Buy It Now reflexes.
What’s key, though, is the affiliated glue. Don’t cast it aside in favor of your normal, globby white stuff.
Even the stupid eyelash glue tube font is cute.
This stuff is completely thin and clear, like water. You can barely see it when it comes out off the tube, and you definitely don’t see it on the lashes. It adheres, but not devilishly/rubberily like the white kind, so you can gently peel off your lashes and they never get mangled. SO you can rewear that shit over and over, without the lashes getting all gummy and sick.
See? These are covered in glue. You can kind of see it at the bottom corner.
Kay, check out my before stumps:
But definitely not…
Smoldering and sexy. hahaahahahaha. Like my (boxed) Merlot lipstick?
Stepford is back!
So, what do you think? They are $15 for the lashes and $8 for the glue, but you get multiple wears, so suck it. Also, if you’re really in the “money is no object for fake eyes” camp, check out the Dior adhesive eyeliner strips I reviewed here.