Yes, My Dog Has $50 Dog Perfume #Scottsdale

Several years ago at my job in publishing, I was asked to approach a dog store in Scottsdale that was way past-due on their advertising invoices to get that nonsense closed out. It wasn’t my job and this owner was majorly avoiding us, so I was told if I could get her to give us […] Read more…

How to Tone Your Arms Like a Lazy Slob/Snob

I was digging in my closet recently and found a beach bag of 150 thongs from 2007. Literally. Making it rain day-glo lace over here. I also found my first designer handbag ever (Louis Vuitton Speedy 30), which I bought in 2006 mid-boom when logos were all that mattered. I think I wore these with […] Read more…

Can’t Even Conceal My Love for Clé de Peau Beauté

Don’t get too excited, I’ll probably neglect my blog again when nobody comments on this post. Just chilling on my balcony with my dog and flower crown like a free spirit. So, I get a several weekly “I miss your blog posts” complaints, so I thought I’d fire up the ol’ WordPress to tell you about […] Read more…

April Perk Picks

Word up. Who’s ready to skim over my monthly blog post list of greedy, shallow irrationality? Let’s get started, clockwise from top. 1. ModelCo Tanning Glove, $28 for six I am to self-tanner what Miles Redmond from Sideways is to wine. An insufferable know-it-all connoisseur. Foams, sprays, gels, pumps, wipes…tried ’em all, and I can speak […] Read more…

Can Someone Defend Me From the Trolls, Please?

Oh, hey guys. Who trolls the internet? So, a few weeks ago I starred in (nobody was available but my short-haired intern) and edited a little tutorial video for a Chicago salon on how to achieve perfect Brigitte Bardot hair via blowdryer tricks. I love BB and the salon and stylist who did the blowout […] Read more…

March Perk Picks

M is for March. And materialism. These are the easiest articles to write. Who doesn’t love talking about materialistic stuff always once in a while? Here are the things I selfishly can’t stop thinking about this March- clockwise from upper left. 1. Irish Soda Bread If you know me, you know nothing is more delicious […] Read more…

My Hair and Face Think It’s Summer

Let’s pretend! I love fake graphic designing. OK, so it’s February 23 and supposedly snowing in Chicago. I don’t know- I don’t look outside really, unless I’m walking somewhere, and today I’ve been on my computer for like, long enough to throw a clot. What I do know: I haven’t sat by a pool in […] Read more…

Badass Hair Tips from My Stylist Asif Rajan

I knew I’d like my new hairdresser Asif when he said “I don’t like when hair looks too healthy. It’s boring.”  This is a photo I took without permission from deep within his Facebook albums.  He also told me not to get the requisite midwestern North Face sleeping bag jacket because they’re “so ugly” and […] Read more…

Sara Happ’s The Lip Slip Giveaway

Let’s make out. Some of you may have read my embarrassing love story to Sara Happ about her Lip Slip lip balm, which is basically the best lip gloss ever to exist on planet Earth. If you have ever met me, you know I don’t mince words. And here it is, straight from me to you: Best. […] Read more…

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